"The second amendment isn't really a right."
~Rosie O'Donnell~

Mark Down?

You better believe you'll be marked down with subject-verb agreement like this:

Sons Suzuki, Conyers

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far . . .

"Daddy, how far from food are we?"

~Drew~

This Kid Has Got Life Figured Out

"Daddy, stuff doesn't always happen the way you thought it would, does it."

~Jacob~

Favorite sign around town . . .

WARM UP TO A
HOT APPLE
DUMPING

(Courstesy of Brewster's on Dogwood Drive in Conyers)

Well-bred Bears

Lark News

In his review of Doug Wilson's A Serrated Edge, John Frame writes, "I enjoyed the Wittenburg Door back in the days before it got all serious on us and tried to solve all the world’s problems. Now I find it hard to live without my monthly dose of www.larknews.com, and Credenda Agenda."

I've enjoyed C/A for years, but Lark News was new on me. It's definitely in the best tradition of The Door. Check it out.

"Oh yeah, Daddy. If we do get a dog, I want the kind that smells good."
~Jacob~

Jihad: The Musical

Watch the video below (bottom of the page) on the "Daily Mail Tube" of "I Wanna Be Like Osama" from the British production Jihad: The Musical. From their webpage:

Featuring songs such as 'I wanna be like Osama' and the love ballad 'I Only See Your Eyes', JIHAD THE MUSICAL is a madcap gallop through the wacky world of international terrorism; one that puts the powers that be in their place, and that invokes the Blitz spirit that we must laugh at those who seek to intimidate us. Stand back! This is a high-kicking chorus line!

Early word is that it will really blow you away!

"Sinless perfection, OK, but a bit repressive"

I learned of the poetry of Steve Turner from listening to a lecture by Ravi Zacharias (and by the way, if you've never listened to Ravi, please do). I found 12 of Turner's poems about Jesus on this page. After reading them all I liked most of them, but I especially liked the first one listed, "If Jesus Was Born Today." I enjoyed it for it's social commentary, especially how the media would handle Jesus today.

If Jesus was born today
it would be in a downtown motel
marked by a helicopter's flashing bulb.
A traffic warden, working late,
would be the first upon the scene.
Later, at the expense of a TV network,
an eminent sociologist,
the host of a chat show
and a controversial author
would arrive with their good wishes
-the whole occasion to be filmed as part of the
'Is This The Son Of God?' one hour special.
Childhood would be a blur of photographs and speculation
dwindling by his late teens into
'Where Is He Now?' features in Sunday magazines.

If Jesus was thirty today
they wouldn't really care about the public ministry,
they'd be too busy investigating His finances
and trying to prove He had Church or Mafia connections.
The miracles would be explained by
an eminent and controversial magician,
His claims to be God's Son recognised as
excellent examples of Spoken English
and immediately incorporated into
the O-Level syllabus,
His sinless perfection considered by moral philosophers
as, OK, but a bit repressive.

If Jesus was thirty-one today
He'd be the fly in everyone's ointment-
the sort of controversial person who
stands no chance of eminence.
Communists would expel Him, capitalists
would exploit Him or have Him
smeared by people who know a thing or two about God.
Doctors would accuse Him of quackery,
soldiers would accuse Him of cowardice,
theologians would take Him aside and try
to persuade Him of His non-existence.

If Jesus was thirty-two today we'd have to
end it all. Heretic, fundamentalist, literalist,
puritan, pacifist, non-conformist, we'd take Him
away and quietly end the argument.
But the argument would rumble in the ground
at the end of three days and would break out
and walk around as though death was some bug,
saying 'I am the resurrection and the life...
No man cometh to the Father but by me'.
While the magicians researched new explanations
and the semanticists wondered exactly what
He meant by 'I' and 'No man' there would be those
who stand around amused, asking for something
called proof.

©2002 rejesus ltd

Darn Experiments

Men show their character in nothing more clearly
than by what they find laughable. ~Anonymous

Darwinists do best when they simply have ideas in their heads and don't try to verify them in the real world. They can even manage to give their ideas a romantic appeal as they hide behind time and chance. "Surely given enough time with conditions that are just so . . ." Thus, the "infinite monkey theorem" has been employed by Darwinists from time to time as an illustration that this ol' world could indeed have been produced by that magic cocktail of time and chance. Sounds alright, until you try it at home! From leithart.com:

How long will monkeys typing randomly on typewriters take to produce the works of Shakespeare? That's been a way of thinking about Darwinian evolution since who knows where. In 2002, researchers at the Paignton Zoo in England decided to find out. They left a computer terminal in a cage with six monkeys. The results: Mike Phillips, one of the researchers, said "They pressed a lot of S's" and "the lead male got a stone and started bashing the hell out of it." That is not even to mention the regular urination and defecation on the keyboard. After a month, the monkeys had produced about 5 pages of material, with very little resemblance to Shakespeare.

Now, that's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

A Word of Caution . . .

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• death (56x)
• abortion (25x)
• kill (11x)
• hell (8x)
• gay (7x)
• pain (5x)
• dangerous (4x)
• gun (3x)
• drugs (2x)
• bomb (1x)

Consider yourself warned.

We Could Do Worse . . .

How's this for a potential '08 ticket? I guess they would run as independents?

Time to Make the Donuts!

One of my all-time favorite characters and one of my all-time favorite foods:

Movin' On Up

Chip Caray, after the Marlins catcher took a foul ball to his groin:

"He'll be in a different seat in the choir on Sunday."

They don't call catcher's gear the "tools of ignorance" for nothing!

Another Bible Version?

I'm convinced riding around town this week that there must be a new Bible version out there that contains a verse something like, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have a car flag with your church's name on it."

Step Away From the Keyboard

I made the comment to Marian that I "hate these people who fast from the internet for Lent." She had never heard of such a thing, but I see it every year at this time. Here's an example:

40 days away...to repent, to reflect, to listen to His voice.



I am observing Lent with internet silence.



May the Lord speak to your hearts and minds as you listen for Him this season.

Now, "hate" is too strong a word in this case; I simply am disappointed that I won't be able to enjoy reading the person's blog for 40 days. Marian's response when she understood? "Hate them! You should admire them! You need to do that!"

CSI: Jerusalem

The godless are getting giddy. They actually think that they can disprove the resurrection with evidence found in Jerusalem. Check this out:

"Let's go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archaeologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua."

Here's the real kicker: "But film-makers Cameron [of Titanic fame] and Jacobovici claim to have amassed evidence through DNA tests, archaeological evidence and Biblical studies, that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family." DNA tests? Have they subpoenaed Jesus to get a DNA sample from him? Did they find trace DNA on the Holy Grail or something? This is absurd! There is apparently a book that came out last year which advances all this nonsense. I guess we never heard of it because many of the same folks were too busy going nuts for DaVinci Code at the time.

A press conference is scheduled for Monday. Stay tuned.

Should've heeded this advice before I became a city carrier . . .

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
–Henry David Thoreau

Find Out Who's Going to Hell

That's the master list according to Joel Kilpatrick in his book A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat. Follow the link for an excerpt from the book. Remember, people, that this is SATIRE! If you're not sure where you fit on the master list, then go here to take the "EQ" Test.